The other half

Ever have the feeling that there’s something missing within you? Like a vacuum that cannot be filled by just anything? Like a part of the puzzle that completes your being? Like the jagged edges of your soul have been especially carved to fit only a special piece to make it whole?
I do.
That’s where she comes in. Where do I start? With the beauty of her physical self? Or the one she hides behind a wall of steel hoping beyond hope someone would uncover it without her having to reveal it. She has a child inside her that time has put a lid on. The outbursts no longer there because maybe she thought the world wanted her to grow up. She forgot that that was one of the most lovable parts of her inner self. The sheer depth of her self mesmerizes me. I want to dive in. Explore around. Slowly. To search ever nook and crevice of the world inside which her true self lies. She makes me want to do that. I pride myself in the solidity of my masks and walls. Somehow she makes them non existent. I realized this long back when even a single word reply to my hello brought a never waning smile to my face. People say when you look at the person you love your heart starts beating faster. That’s not true. She calms my heart. She calms my demons. She unknowingly gets inside my barriers and gives me a relief that  even I don’t understand. I’ve always wondered why and honestly I still don’t know. She isn’t the princess everyone dreams of having. But she gives me the feeling of her being the other half that fits the jigsaw of my life. Does she complete me? No. She deletes my need to be complete. Because a complete self doesn’t need any other self. She on the other hand gives you a sense of incompleteness so that you’ll always want her by your side. She makes you want to want her.
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Do you know?

Do you know how she was like? A beautiful mess. A thunderous chaos. Where each time you went you felt lost. She was the home that you longed. Out in the cruel world where you never belonged. She was fragile. But she was strong. For those she cared for long. She smiled as if No calamity had touched her. yet when you looked deep into her eyes. You saw her soul slowly die. She stood straight and erect outside. yet she silently crumbled on the inside. She battled her demons alone. Her angels long since gone.

Let me tell you about her. The shimmering light that she once were.Darkened by the grieves. Shadowed by a depressing commotion. She lost, yet she kept the motion.She was the truth that you always lied about. The answer to your lofty doubts. She was the warmth to your coldness. And The cure to your prolonged illness. With lost words and hands that betrayed. I saw her run as the winds raged. I wanted to stop her. To make her stay. Yet I stood still as she moved away. Taking away my hopes my dreams. She dissolved into the diminishing light beams.

My Soul

Soul-Number

A bird fluttered inside of me
Wanting for its prison to cease to be
Tortured by the deeds of its worldly master
It yearned for his time of death faster


As I peeked inside of me I saw it
My soul struggling to free itself out of the pit
The blackness inside me I found so consuming
Amazed at how my soul was bearing


The bodily cage had become a hell for it
All I did was kill it bit by bit
My actions made it cry
But gradually my heart had become wisp and dry


I was so indulged in the worldly wealth
Not caring about my soul’s eternal health
Day by day making it worst
Making it feel it had been cursed


Its destiny depended all on me
I was taking it to hell but I didn’t see
All my life was spent in ignorance
Now all of it was making a complete sense


I had done nothing for a life of eternal bliss
All those chances of doing good I had missed
But now it was too late to realize
My life was a living hell in disguise


O my captor, cried out my soul
So cruel, you deprived me of my goal
Why did the Creator sent me to you
Tear and torment me is all you do


I was sent as a being so pure
But you poisoned me beyond all cure
I looked back through my past
Now that the wrinkles were coming fast


Not one good I found in my life
All spent in the soul and body strife
I now realized it wanted to take me to heaven
And all I did was take it to hell