The silence before a storm

 

193I sit here, staring at the blank page. Waiting for the thoughts to come pouring out. Waiting to blacken the the whiteness of the page with the darkness of my life. But my silence blocks me. My hands betray me. My thoughts leave me. How can i make the river flow after holding it back for what seems like ages? I feel like I’ve lost the ability to speak. Like I’ve forgotten how to express. There’s nothing but a shroud of a ravaging silence that surrounds my being. But they say there’s a silence before a great storm. The world seems at peace before it breaks into a turmoil. Maybe this is what I feel right now. A volcano brewing up inside. A volcano of words. A lava of emotions. Ready to burst out any time.

Throughout your whole life you keep on piling your feelings, your emotions, your sorrows, your moments of happiness, your moments of bliss. You take everything and dump them inside the big black box that dwells deep down your being. You have words that need to be spoken, yet words that are unheard. Feelings you want to feel, yet you don’t know how. Emotions you want to let out, yet no one to cup their hands and hold the flowing river. And as time passes by you put up walls on the outside. Masks on your face. Veils on your being. You appear strong as a stone on the outside, yet inside, slowly you crumble and fall. The poison inside the black box silently seeps out. Coursing through your veins paralysing your ability to feel any more. And all because of a silence that couldn’t be broken. All because of words that couldn’t be said.

My tale goes on. As life goes on. This cave suffocates me now. The darkness haunts me. Im living on the outside. But inside, the me is dying. Slowly, Silently it withers away. It just fades away.

“Will i fade away
Like a flame burnt out?
I am, but a shadow of myself
A memory that long blacked out
 
The bridge is destroyed
The rubble nowhere to be found
Like a song that ends
Ill fade away, into the background”
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