The dark side of love

darkness_wallpaper_4

There’s a white mist all around me. I cannot see an inch further. I stumble and hold out my hands to catch my fall. I shout but no voice comes out. I listen but no sound wavers. I look but no vision flickers. I can feel a tight knot in my throat. A throbbing in my chest. A heaviness in my head. Fear? No this wasn’t it. I look back trying to find the path I had come from but there’s only the whiteness of the void waiting for me. They say it’s the dark that makes you blind. Today, I had experienced otherwise.

With my head held high,
with my hopes on the fly,
I inch forward,
with noone to guide me by

I wish I knew
Of my impending doom
Down I went
With a shattering boom

Into the deep hole I fell
Down the never ending ditch
Little did i know I had fallen
Down the dark side of love.

The dark side of love? How could something so bright, so hopeful, so white have a dark side? It wasn’t hatred. No. It wasn’t a darkness. But it was like a burning candle. A bright light that falls on your face. But as you try to grab it, it burns. It burns the very flesh of your body. The searing pain going all the way to your heart. Making you feel like a thousand bolts of electricity are coursing through your veins instead of blood. The pain isn’t constant. Neither is it temporary. But it comes in jolts. After several moments. One moment you feel vacant, empty, emotionless. The other you feel like a vacuum consuming you from inside. A black hole at the very centre of your existence.

It’s painful to feel so immensely about something yet unable to get to it. It’s like a door. The closer you get. The farther it goes. Love isn’t supposed to hurt. It isn’t supposed to open up wounds. It isn’t supposed to slash and burn. Yeah it doesn’t. But the dark side of love does.

Down there deep in the ditch I lay. Looking at the tiny light high above me. Beckoning me. Calling me. But I cannot get out.

Life’s like this. There are times when you fall in love either with the wrong person or with someone you cannot spend your life with. And then you fall down this ditch unable to get out on your own. You wait for someone to pull you out. But who really cares. People walk by. Looking down on you and move ahead. The waiting clock ticks from days to months to even years. And all you can do is wait for a saviour that may never come. Sitting there silently as you soul slowly crumbles to dust. As your being soundlessly shatters to nothingness.

A hopeless journey

drowning

I watched myself being drowned
Into the abyss of my own grieves
Raging columns of fire all around
Why is it that fate always weaves
Only sufferings for me to be bound

After much thought I set out
To find that bird called hope
All that surrounded me was a doubt
Would I be able to cling to that rope
And help myself out of this life’s bout

Through the wild forests I passed
Raging, thundering seas I crossed
Scorching deserts that would never last
Several times I felt I was lost
What kept me going was determination of my task

At last I found my reason to live
My heart jolted out with glee
Whatever it required I would give
To protect it no matter what the fee
Cause I had found the essence of my life

Alas! My happiness was so short lived
All I could do was watch and yell
As the eagle took away my gift
Confining my screams to an empty well
Helplessly I watched as all I cared was lost

Why is life so difficult for me
Leaving only despair in its wake
Why didn’t anyone care to see
Down and down I drowned in the lake
Waiting for my existence to cease to be

Wake up call

file

My eyes gazed upon it
A body rotting bit by bit
Being salvaged by hungry dogs
My tears blotted my eyes like fog
What I saw made my body numb
Everywhere a misty sadness hung

I heard a cry of help
I heard a little child yelp
A mother yelled as her little one fell
In an instant her life made a living hell
A war rampaged on around me
And all I could do was let it be

I inched towards the fallen one
A shower of bullets I got in return
They wont let me pick my brother
Take him to his dying mother
How could a heart be so cruel
All it cared about was the worldly duel

Wake up my brothers, shun the sleep
Your mothers, sisters lie there in the rotting heap
Wake up, the people of Gaza call you
A cry for help is all they can do
Wake up and see through the eye of reality
They have made the prosperous land into a crumbling city

This world has become an abode of fantasies
Keeping everyone away from torturous realities
Man kills man for the lust of power
Just to build huge empires with him on a tower
Why do we forget we were once dust
Thereto we will return and thats a must

My Soul

Soul-Number

A bird fluttered inside of me
Wanting for its prison to cease to be
Tortured by the deeds of its worldly master
It yearned for his time of death faster


As I peeked inside of me I saw it
My soul struggling to free itself out of the pit
The blackness inside me I found so consuming
Amazed at how my soul was bearing


The bodily cage had become a hell for it
All I did was kill it bit by bit
My actions made it cry
But gradually my heart had become wisp and dry


I was so indulged in the worldly wealth
Not caring about my soul’s eternal health
Day by day making it worst
Making it feel it had been cursed


Its destiny depended all on me
I was taking it to hell but I didn’t see
All my life was spent in ignorance
Now all of it was making a complete sense


I had done nothing for a life of eternal bliss
All those chances of doing good I had missed
But now it was too late to realize
My life was a living hell in disguise


O my captor, cried out my soul
So cruel, you deprived me of my goal
Why did the Creator sent me to you
Tear and torment me is all you do


I was sent as a being so pure
But you poisoned me beyond all cure
I looked back through my past
Now that the wrinkles were coming fast


Not one good I found in my life
All spent in the soul and body strife
I now realized it wanted to take me to heaven
And all I did was take it to hell

O Radiant One

I stare in awe at the radiant speck in the distance
Shining like a full bright moon, emitting its milky light
I reach out to touch it, locked in a tranceangel-of-light
But an invisible wall blocks me, repels me
I try my luck time and again
But alas! All of it goes to vain


My eyes are filled with yearning
My heart has started bleeding
Why is reality so hurting
Couldn’t it be just like I wanted
I realised there were too many hindrances
Life doesn’t always give what one wishes



I want to return to my world of dreams
Where I am king of my realities
I want to retreat to an eternal sleep
Where the harshnesses wont disturb me
I want to dissolve in the sands of time
Where the storms of life wont engulf me


People say this race you will lose
Cause too many are after what you pursue
No matter how much you try
You will never make your own that light so high
I ask do they have what I possess
This burning, beating thing inside my chest



O Radiant One! I can no longer hold
These walls are making me bold
I want to raze them to ground
So at last you might be found
Time is not on my side
Save me, Save me I am gonna die