Fire and Ashes


imagesMy hands quiver. My pen wavers. My thoughts uncertain. I feel empty once again. Lost and empty. My insides feel on fire. Crumbling all in its path and moving on to the outside. i want it to burn. Burn what lies outside. Burn all that lives around me. And perhaps in the dark black center of the burning flame, in the wake of destruction it leaves behind, in the screaming of my burning soul, in the smell of my burning flesh, in the ecstasy of the agony it gives, in the beauty of the phoenix of the red fire, ill find my peace. My eternal peace.

Peace? After all these years i dont even know what that means. The sound alien to me. The meaning lost. I look at the candle burning. Its flame still. Wavering, but holding. Was that peace? The yellow giving way to orange. The orange turning to red. And finally the red being consumed by the black. The sheer beauty of it leaves me in awe. The calmness it radiates. But perhaps i was seeing it wrong. The colors. The flame. Peace wasn’t the yellowness turning into a dark blackness. It was the darkness being pierced by the coloured lights. And perhaps thats what i needed in life. A change of perspective.

My fingers inch forward .Trying to grab it. I couldn’t get it. Why not grab it? Yikes. It burns. What is this searing pain i feel shooting through my fingertips going all the way up? I thought I was numb. How can I feel this pain now? Why do I? All i want is peace for myself. It isnt too much to ask for. But then again its one of the tragedies of life. Things lie just before u. Out their to be held, to be taken. But an invisible barrier bars ur way. Always. U reach out and the forcefield drives your hand back. You stagger. You fall. Yet you rise and hold out your hand again. And the endless cycle goes on. The cycle of life.

Theres a deep silence inside me
The silence of void deep within
I hoped for a hope that never came by
For a dream that i never dreamt
The bearings of a great storm
A red lining on the horizon
Dark clouds rising above
A ditch dug down below
I long for a peace
The peace for a broken mind
These shattered edges of the mirror
A torture i want to leave behind
It sticks like a leech
Sucking my life bit by bit
Until none is left therein
A smoking candle that once lit
I call for a saviour
To reignite the diminishing flame
But who dare answer
For this is but just a life’s game
I hold onto my mere hopes
Like a drowning person to burning ships
For its just a matter of time
When all will be fire and ashes

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s